Honest to Betsy! I think it would be easier for me to go out tomorrow and purchase some illegal drugs ... than it will be for me to ORDER SOME EYEGLASSES FOR MY NEARLY BLIND (okay, not quite) TEN-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER!!!
In the afternoon, on the day when we returned home from our blissful cruise ... Halo's glasses broke. Boo Hoo! I think two other mishaps happened as well ... but I can't recall them just now. Anyway, her glasses broke ...
So ... a day and a half later, Sunday afternoon ... we went to Sam's Club to buy some new glasses. Although we had a paper prescription in hand, the gal there tried to verify Halo's prescription on some database and couldn't find it ... so she would not order any glasses for us. Is there some shared database for this type of stuff??? It seems goofy that there would be. Anyway, she was going to call the doctor the next day to see if it was supposed to expire six or twelve months from the date of issue. I said, "Look. We have a prescription. It doesn't say that it is expired. It has been less than twelve months. She can still see well through her old, broken lenses ... so this is still a good prescription for her. We just need a new pair of glasses. We're not ordering these for kicks ..." She refused to bend.
Sam's Club did call us the next day to say that the prescription is indeed valid and we should return to the store to do the actual ordering. In the meantime, however, I had learned that Wal-Mart has frames for at least $50 cheaper ... and decided to look there instead, given that eyeglasses are quite fragile and prone to breaking ... especially with a baby brother who likes to grab at them.
So ... I didn't make it to Wal-Mart until last night ... eight days later. Halo and I picked out some frames ... waited a little while until THREE customers were helped ahead of us ... and then handed the lady our prescription and the frames we had selected.
"Oh ... I'm sorry ... I can't order these without a doctor's signature," she began.
"Are you kidding??? Sam's Club was going to order them but wasn't sure about the expiration. They never even mentioned a signature. There's not even a spot or a line on here for a signature. See the list of doctors? See how the doctor's name is exed? And I've already had this prescription filled once before ... last fall ... for the glasses that are now broken ..."
"Well, if we were to get audited ..." she started saying.
"If you were to get audited, it would be terrible that you filled this DOCTOR'S PRESCRIPTION for EYEGLASSES??? Are you serious??? It's not like we are getting these for fun. Oh ... my ... stars!" I said.
"I can't do anything without a signature," she continued.
"Okay," I said, very calmly. "How about you forget that I came in here ... and I walk out the door and then I just scribble something on here ... and then I come back in and we order the glasses?"
Wanda, that was her name, Wanda ... also refused to bend ... not that I expected her to. Nutso, I say! Who or what agency has time to see that all prescriptions filled for EYEGLASSES are signed by a doctor??? Good night! Eyeglasses! It's not like we are trying to acquire some drug ... pick one ... I can't think of any scandalous ones at the moment ... okay, Jeff just suggested oxycotton ... there you go!
Anyway ... tonight we tried again!
We had a plan. Jeff was going to scribble on the prescription ... but then he advised me to do it since, "a woman scribbles differently than a man." So ... I did a little scribble ... I didn't try to sign her name ... I just scribbled where one might have signed if that was actually necessary ... and then Jeff was going to take Halo in and attempt to order the glasses provided that Wanda wasn't working. But guess what???
Wanda was working :/